Comfort
by mechanical-rain
Summary: One-shot, porn and shadow-play. For some context- Neji just finished exposing Hiashi to be the abusive pedophile that he was, and Hiashi was arrested by Tsunade's Anbu. Hinata has stepped up to replace her Uncle, which Neji fully endorses, but doesn't wish to burden her with his mixed feelings over the situation... Fortunately, his boyfriend is lazy but smart, and stops by.
"I need you in me."

Despite Shikamaru's misgivings over the day and his frayed nerves from his anxieties over both his lover and his father, Neji's words sank directly into his chest and dropped like stones into the pit of his body, where they warmed and sent flushed heat throughout his limbs. He was surprised to hear them- the Hyuuga so rarely vocalized his desire that sometimes the Nara wondered (always very briefly) whether Neji might not be sexually interested in him at all… but then he'd say something like that, unexpectedly, and it would cut Shika all the way down to the bone, though the words themselves were so simple and spoken with easy sincerity.

It wasn't just the words though, it was the way Neji looked at him when he said it.

The Hyuuga had no pupils… Shikamaru often made a private game to himself in trying to guess just where Neji was looking at any given moment. There were subtle clues as to the direction of their mind here and there, but they blinked so little and often didn't bother turning their heads at all, so Shikamaru had gotten a lot of practice at guessing. For the past couple of weeks, he'd often been right, which was a silent source of pride in his own observational skills.

The practice was made possible because the Hyuuga, as Shika had swiftly come to realize, were excessively paranoid.

They seemed ever to be watching something else. Ever looking through a wall, a person, each other. Looking for weapons, counting chakra points, staring at the sky, or even having let their minds wander to a bird no one else could see four houses down and halfway back through an alley. They were restless and in motion even when they were still, and Shikamaru often joked that Neji's thinking was so loud he could hardly get to sleep and wouldn't he quit that just for a night, jesus?

And yet, when Neji said his plea of desire, Shikamaru didn't need to guess or wonder… ivory eyes were locked directly onto his, not looking through but looking right at him… seeing him… watching him…

It made him feel vulnerable and powerful all at once. Instinctively full of pride at having stolen the gaze of a frequently distracted mind, and also wanting to cover himself up and play off the sudden, undivided attention. Odd whims… foolish ones… passing feelings always overwhelmed by the need to look back into bright white eyes and ask one of the two questions he always replied with.

"Now?"

The other question was 'are you sure.'

"Yes." Was always Neji's answer.  
Of course now. Of course he was sure. Neji was always sure, it seemed like.. by the time he opened his mouth to vocalize a thought, he'd already firmly cemented a belief on it and decided on his course of action through it… Shikamaru appreciate that… the Hyuuga didn't fill spaces with empty chatter… he spoke his mind when he felt like it and he always stood by what he'd said.

Shikamaru had to follow it up with the second question anyway.. he always did.

"Are you sure?"

Neji didn't always answer.. Shikamaru didn't always expect him too.. because they both knew the brunette had already made up his mind even as he righted himself and slid a leg over Shikamaru's lap to straddle him.

He was sure. With the Nara, he was always sure.

Roughened, tanned hands lost themselves in a storm of long, nearly blackish brown tresses as their mouths met. Nimble, long, pale fingers curled against his chest and tugged on his neck to bring him closer, and Shikamaru answered in kind by pulling on that handful of ethereal, lavender scented hair, eliciting a rattled gasp from its owner.

He'd apologized the first time he'd pulled Neji's hair, thinking he'd crossed a line in the moment of rather unexpected passion- as he'd been ambushed by a talented mouth beneath the bedsheets one morning and Shikamaru had thoughtlessly yanked when pleasure had begun to crescendo. The look Neji had given him had burned a hole right through to his gut and he could still feel it churning there with the ferocity of the lust he'd accidentally stumbled upon. There had been no rage, only need, and the Nara obliged with this act no one else was allowed to even try.

Neji did not like anyone touching his hair… except Shikamaru.

Neji didn't like anyone's rough lips on his petal soft skin except for Shikamaru's. No one's hands gripping his thighs as their hips ground together through the friction of their clothes except for Shikamaru.

There was no doubt in the Nara's mind that the pretty Hyuuga loved him, even if he never quite understood the reason why.

Reasons were less important when Neji was pulling his own shirt off between their kisses, tugging at Shikamaru's vest with insistence bordering on desperation. Motive didn't seem to matter when Neji's war-trained hand, unblemished by the grip of kunai or weapons he never used, slipped into the front of the Nara's trousers and gripped and rubbed him in just the right way. Shikamaru forgot to think when clothes were lost somewhere in the room and he was buried into Neji's heat with the boy's whisper quiet moans in his mouth and white eyes were unfocused and brow furrowed.

He was beautiful.. despite or maybe because of the scars that broke up the pale veneer of moon bleach skin… Beautiful in the way that weapons forged in forgotten ages were beautiful, with magic laced into its steel and chips knicked along its edges with secret stories.

Neji's hands were on Shikamaru's shoulders, holding on as he bounced in his lap, doing most of the work- as usual… Shikamaru was lazy, true, but this was one area of their life where he'd have liked to take a more active role, was he not so often overwhelmed by the pulchritude of his lover, who wriggled and gasped and threw his head back and let all of the walls he wore on his face tumble away between them for a little while. Overwhelmed by these glimpses of who Neji really was.

What kept him grounded was mostly the memory of where they were. Something was different with Neji tonight, and it took Shikamaru and obscenely long amount of time to figure out why there was a faint shine in ivory eyes and why his strong fingers trembled as they grasped and slid down the Nara's back.

They'd never made love in the Hyuuga compound before… much less in Neji's actual room, too afraid of getting caught, maybe… now it felt like Neji was trying to reclaim the space as his own, trying to convince himself there was no one to catch and punish them.. grieving as much as he was celebrating and unable to figure out what to do with any of those feelings except to burn them away with passion and the warmth of another's body whom he could trust.

Shikamaru moved his hand to the back of Neji's neck as his shadow lifted, helping him by taking the Hyuuga's hands up above his head when he laid him down on his back, and the Nara slowed their pace.

Long, slow, deep rocks of their bodies together now, lessening Neji's frenzied pace to a crawl, forcing him to feel without brushing everything aside too quickly.

Neji liked the shadow play usually, but tonight he squirmed and tugged a bit against them and when he inhaled, his breath sounded wet and shaky. He didn't want to talk, and he certainly didn't want to actually stop, Shikamaru knew that as much as he knew the Hyuuga would not thank him if he stopped it himself, so he leaned down to kiss him instead and let one of the shadow hands creep up the Hyuuga's body, caressing the planes of stomach and chest and dusky nipples then down to wrap around his sex and squeeze him until he groaned and forgot to be upset with the Nara.

Soon enough, when Shikamaru felt that Neji seemed to be recovering and when their need reached a head, he gradually began to quicken their movements again, revelling at the electric heat at every point where their bodies touched or brushed or pressed.  
Shikamaru liked to kiss Neji when they tipped over the edge into oblivion, even though fatigue and pleasure and the need to pant for breath often made that impossible.. so their mouths would simply hover close, partly open, until the forceful thrusts found the final spring to let loose and Shikamaru would swallow the Hyuuga's soft cry. Neji so rarely made unnecessary noises of any kind that weren't vague grunts of dismissal or dubious disapproval… but these cries, which would start as a breathy whine that sounded like Shika's name and then break into a high gasp that might be the closest to a scream as a Hyuuga ever got… they were sincere and unguarded and they echoed in the Nara's mouth, vibrating into his throat to his heart and taking root there as they tapered off to gentle, appreciative, lip biting exhales.

For a while they just breathed, Shikamaru's shadows disappearing and Neji's fingers leaving the reddened welts they'd raised with their nails in their own palms and instead trailing over the Nara's face and throat.

They said nothing for a long time.. they often didn't speak after being intimate, merely listening to their heartbeats slamming into their ribs between them as they tried to ease themselves back down from the high of adrenaline. Shikamaru didn't use the shadows often, he was sort of afraid of hurting Neji… and sometimes, like now, if his attention started to slip towards the end they'd leave imprints and faint bruises wherever they'd gripped. The nara kissed each of them now in apology, smoothing his fingers along Neji's body, pressing circles in tight muscles and kissing away tension in the aftercare of the rougher encounter.

Neji never seemed to mind the faint bruises, which would heal only after a few hours or so… but he liked the aftercare, and he always responded favorably with sighs and touches and twists of his fingers in Shika's hair.

He pulled away slowly, that they could then get themselves cleaned up as Neji always insisted upon and finally slide beneath the replaced blankets together. Shikamaru hated that part, but the Hyuuga did all of the work there too so that was fine, he just had to stay out of the way until Neji was finished fussing with sheets and quilts and pillow cases and his hair and had finally gotten comfortable with his back to his lover.

Shikamaru remembered the first night Neji had stayed over… and the second and third and the ten after that. Those first times there had been nothing sexual, but Shikamaru had stared at Neji's back for a long time, nervously unable to decide if he was allowed to touch him or wrap an arm around his slender and androgynous waist. The later times, even after they WERE sexual, he'd still faced that awkwardness.. Neji always seemed so resolute and firm, unwavering as he rolled to his side and gave the Nara his back… Shikamaru had felt… shut out.. walled away…

He'd forgotten Neji could see through the back of his own head.

"If you don't come over here and hold me properly, I'm going to stick my cold feet on you in the morning." He'd said, with amusement and playfulness that had surprised Shikamaru into jumping a few inches, having thought the other boy was long since asleep with his eyes still closed tight. In his haste to accept the invitation, he'd accidentally whacked Neji in the thigh with his knee, and the Hyuuga had grumbled and shoved at him and generally been unhappy for several minutes until they'd settled somewhere comfortable and tense.

Now, after those years, Shikamaru moved up against Neji's back without hesitation, understanding it wasn't defense but trust. Neji had one spot on his back he could not see, a blind spot, and that was where he wanted Shikamaru…. to keep him safe, to watch his back, to protect him.. it was trust, and the Nara felt the glow of affection he always did as he wrapped an arm around the boy's stomach, feeling the other twine their fingers together as he tucked them up against Neji's chest and slid one of his knees up to nestle between the brunette's welcoming thighs, their hips together and his face buried in the Hyuuga's upper back.

Comfortable.

Neji wasn't even shaking anymore.

Shikamaru still couldn't sleep.


End file.
